when?

2009-09-09T22:55:00.000+08:00

Hi All.

It has been long and blogger, still the same annoying you.

Anyway, i have actually left here, but i thought of doing a proper farewell.
Hahaha!

I've been good.
Had a lot of meet-ups with wonderful friends. And it meant a lot to me.
Thank you, all. Especially the Riversidians. :)

Anyway, i'm needing a new convenient page, where only a few friends will know of.
I need a place to pour my guts out and not feel inferior or insensitive to others, since many read here.
Not that i'm scared but it is just uncomfortable for me.
So, goodbye here.

Other than that, Haziqah has a Twitter! For now, that's the only place to update her daily mundane life.
http://twitter.com/nhaziqahz

See ya around!

Much much love - Nur Haziqah Zainol

p.s. I will bring Ari Hakikat wherever i go, so, he's leaving here too. Haha. :)

2009-08-14T11:08:00.002+08:00

Design process: 3 models up.

Doing models is fun! :

Massive changes. But, I don't have research materials! How ah...?
I'm 'fasting' today. Save money. I don't know why I have to do that, but, fast already, just cuntinue ah.

So, back from a 2 weeks flu frenzy and handed up my photography assignment and did my interim crit. Was ok, but a lotta work still needs to be done. Dennis was very supportive. Thanks. He was calling the director of ABE to ask for a laptop loan for me 'cos I can't do work over the weekend.

Thanks.

Adrenalin and instincts

2009-08-12T08:47:00.003+08:00

I didn't know that i need not to come to sch today. So i came. And perspired because i know how unreasonable she can get about punctuality. Yeay. I think i’ve lost like 0.4kg?

Back from Malaysia last 2 days. Back to school and work.

Can’t wait for school to end. Can’t wait to have my deserved break.
School’s a pain and a bore. Everything and everyone it seems.
This is a confession of the oppressed.

Working on my proposal now. And bibliography later if possible.
Sibei tired!

Blogger, if you still decide to be nasty, I will decide on yr fate.

And I just let off my silent killaaaaaa!
Omg, THAT sounds familiar doesnt it?
Hahahahahah! Fucking hilarious!

-Haziqah

2009-08-06T17:26:00.005+08:00

I regretted spending $9.20 for my 2 days of MC for it has done shit!
I should be resting well at home, worry nothing but my blocked nose which causes me to lose appetite but i still eat so much anyway.
But i still have quite a lot to do. Ok, maybe not quite.
It is really a HUGE worry!

My Forum Theatre piece is due tmr. And i hope we do good.

Couple of things i'm happy about for today.
First and foremost, my Educational Psych group did very very well for our presentation! Yeay! I am very very happy! :D
Secondly, i met nenek jual tissue just now, and she made my day. I will smile more ok, Nyai? (Nyai reminds me of Ari's, i miss her a lot) :)
Lastly, i bumped into Fana and K so now, i have company. :)

On a totally horror note, i gained 4 damn KILOGRAMMES!
And i am certain it is due to my quitting smokes.
Nehmind. I'm happy this way. We saved a lot.
And spent a lot too! Ouch. $400 in a week (or 2 days?!) is not healthy, baby.
Retail therapy doesn't work on us. Haha.

Ok, i need to blow my nose.
Excuse me.

I know you gave your all. I am so impressed.
Thank you for your all, and your flu. Hahaha! ;P

-Haziqah

our lives entwined to be as one, upon this journey we’ve just begun

2009-08-02T14:58:00.003+08:00

The boyfriend is sick = Sadness
The boyfriend is sick = No motivation
The boyfriend is sick = Not doing work?

Ewah ewaahhhh. Lawa sangat lah kau Haziqah.

Last two days of our Dallas and ice-cream and talking and walking and shopping with Ubai and Nunu was good! :)

Anyway, this morning in a packed train when I was on my way to national library, I was standing near to this cute guy who was listening to some music.
I first thought he was the type who is pleasant to the eye and like, hehe. The thought stayed until he started moving.
At first it was mere tapping of finger and foot, after which his WHOLE body started shaking.
I was about to ask him if he was alright because the way he moved, was kind of scary.
He was either grooving to the music or, spastic?
Either way, it was weird. Not unique weird, but disturbing weird.
Boy, such a turnoff.

And I didn’t know people go to Bugis to shop at such an early hour. It was only freaking 10 in the morning!

And OH MY GOD!
Some people are so ignorant and selfish!
Knowing something was wrong with their ezlink, pls go and fucking move aside and ask the smrt people lah. Don’t keep on tapping and tapping and annoy people who are rushing to do work!
I was standing in the line where this man was tirelessly tapping (he tapped for like 10times!) and when I was smart enough to move to the other line, another woman was doing the same.
Ninabei kaum tersebut!
I admire your effort but wrong approach.

Ok, this week is crucial for me.
I’ll be clearing off most of my assignments. No delay, no turning back.
Wish me the best of luck.

Please get well soon, Love.
I miss your everything.

-Haziqah

commitment and trust, built to last

2009-07-28T14:05:00.011+08:00

NurHaziqahZainol says:

kau tgh buat ape?

FANA. says:

hahaha aku baru buka puasa

NurHaziqahZainol says:

-.- !

FANA. says:

hahaha padahal tadi aku sahur nasi -.-

NurHaziqahZainol says:

kau yang babi

NurHaziqahZainol says:

nak cakap khairul

FANA. says:

HAHAHAH!

FANA. says:

babi kau.

NurHaziqahZainol says:

babi anj

NurHaziqahZainol says:

babianj

FANA. says:

ylh. combination ah gitu kan.

NurHaziqahZainol says:

eh cool pe?!

Anjing dah jadi babi. Cannot puase full day one. Hahahha!

Chatted with Fana abt a lot of things. General and personal.

I love talking to her because of her mature thinking.

Here's the thing.

Never trust anyone. Seriously.

Not even those whom you initially thought might be responsible. A clear, straight no.

And there's so much more to love, than making love.

Thank you for the talk. That's why i love you.

And this is soooooooooooo ______ of us to pose in a packed train.

So poly year 1. Haha!

So embarrasing ehhh!

-Haziqah

my backpack?

2009-07-27T09:44:00.001+08:00

2 hours to next class.
And I am so happy coz i’ve found a new cozy place in the campus. :))

Yesterday The Girls - Fana, Zahirah and Nabilah, together with their bfs - came over to my place.
Watched movies, soccer match, and of coz goresseep! (i need to stop liking that last part already but it’s like my innate interest. How?)
We talked for quite a bit about friendship and relationship.

I’m happy for Nabilah and Zahirah, and beyond happy for Fana. She’s like the goddess of us all because despite all the fights and blahs, she’s still as strong with Khairul.
Those who wanna compare their relationship with hers can go and give up the ghost.

Fana you know who. Muahahahahaha!

Tak suke sekali org yang cakap besar. Especially exaggerating their life like they are one big fuck. Stop being so obnoxious lah. Hidup mesti humble.

Ok, i’m fasting today. Supposed to break it with The Girls but had to cancel it. Sorry!

-berpuasa harus bersabar. menjaga apa yang masuk ke dalam mulutmu, juga apa yang keluar dari mulutmu. (Hakikat, A., 2009)

-Haziqah

if i could tell you how i feel, i would

2009-07-25T12:11:00.006+08:00

At 6am SHARP today, my phone rang.
It was an unknown number but i picked it up anyway.
You know when you were too sleepy and something woke you up and prompted you to do something, you would most probably do it?
Well, it is for me.

Upon answering, a giggle was heard first. The first thing that I could think of was….
Makcik jual keropok? Haahahha! Wtf kan? The makcik comes knocking on your door lah.
But to think of it again, why not? Makcik business dah maju can afford phonecalls already? Hahahaha!
Anyway, i'm beginning to think of this whole makcik issue as a joke more than a horror. Maybe because a lot of people are talking about it already, and they love making a fun out of it?
Makcik cheap publicity eh?

Okok, so I heard that then a familiar voice came in. It was Nabilah.
She was bored, pretty obviously, and went around disturbing others’ sleep. Heh.
Reason? “Tak boleh ke aku nak call girlfriends aku yang aku miss?”
Thank you Nabilah for i had 15mins less sleep. -.-

But, i find it lovely and cute nevertheless. I miss you too. :)

Anyway, i set my goal for today already.
I wanna do my Health psych essay as much as possible.
Because i have to make my tomorrow free! :)

=)

// And, tuition just now didn't go well.
She was too sleepy to listen to me and i was hyperventilating while trying to get her attention.
Her attention span is too short and it can be frustrating.
But what to do? Patience and what?

Time to put the applied drama and psychology skills into practice.
Only those in the know understand.

-Haziqah

in every little thing that you do, i'll always be here for you

2009-07-22T03:42:00.004+08:00

Look at the time now!
Well, still up doing my work apparently.

Anyway check this out. The new addict.
So old but only now i found the true meaning to it. :)

MySpace Playlist at MixPod.com

Seriously to all who are madly in love, like literally can go mad one, listen to this song.
It gives the mentel mentel feeling gitu. It made me smile to the screen. And still smiling! Suuuuuuke sekali! :D
Try listening to the song while reading the lyrics.

Your lucky day, i copy-pasted the lyrics. Because really tengah meeeeentel ni. Hahahhahahaahahahaha!
K now nak call ari ke tak? Hee heeeeeeeee. OMG OMG OMG!

We had a fight last night
And i called him mad
Makes me feel so sad
And I'm so ashamed

He's my only one
I give him all my love
Even though my mom says no!
I just go on and on

No one's gonna take him away from me

Everyday and every night
I just wanna hold him tight
And make sure that everything stays right
And everyday and every night
To dream of him is my delight and know that
He'll stay with me all the way

Hhahahahahha! :)
Anyway, texted Ari already. No reply.
Buttttt, that can wait. Few more hours onlyyyy! :) :D 8) :0 :* %) :] %}

2009-07-19T18:48:00.002+08:00

A lot of presentations are trying to squeeze their way into my small, pathetic head.
Not only do they need to squeeze, but also to stay put in there for at least another three weeks?
So, what is the hardest and almost impossible (almost, not entirely!) thing to do amidst all catastrophe?
To be impervious to distractions, yes.
All those puny little things of which if accumulated, can be extremely deadly to me.

So i’m in the library now, trying to work on my essay.
I hope the day will be fruitful, insyallah.

So till then!

Tmr wanna wear what to school eh?

=)

Haziqah

wishing you're nowhere but here, the sole motivator

2009-07-15T12:04:00.003+08:00

I have done something productive today.
And it's thrilling! :)

Oh ya, Happy Belated 18th, Nurul Nadzirah Sapuan! <3
And of coz, Happy 5th Anniversary Darlings.

Even though we are all very very busy with school and all, i'm glad we at least made it a point to meet once in a while. Not forgetting the midnight calls during birthdays. Let's keep this tradition okayys? Muahs! <3
Can't wait to meet you girls later. (:

Anyway this is,

Me on drums, Ari on guitar and Lawrence on bass.
My first timeee!!!!!!
Aku tau kental ah butttt, i sukeeeee!
Hhahahaha, miang.

=)

-Haziqah

my joy through the pain

2009-07-12T14:05:00.003+08:00

10 things I have to say 'cos I just wanna.

_________________________________________________

1) This model is simple when I think of it, but extremely mind-boggling when I actually do it. Lego, anyone? That's my concept, by the way; the interlocking of elements, which actually, kinda fits the purpose of the building, which is an Islamic Cultural Centre. I got the whole idea from Islamic motifs and the use of geometry in them.

Checklist:
- 1:200 model √
- 1:200 plans √
- sections
- elevations (optional)
- powerpoint

Can be done in one night. plus I got till 5 tomorrow.

2) So, Diploma in Architecture ≠ Diploma in Draftsmanship.
What do I see myself doing in the future? Sit in the office, working under someone, contantly churning out CAD drawings after CAD drawings, earning a hundredth of what they earn? Haha. Exagerating ah. But still... I need to be part of something bigger.

3) This month will be the last of my probation period with Tiet studios. I hope I'll be earning more. Hahh. The time spent there are draggy at time, but not when I have Haziqah around. The roti prata and the roti john there are just superb. The company there, like John, who walked into the studio, looking at our retail stuff and just being so quirky. We enjoyed it. Haha. Thank you, John.

4) NAPFA test...
I don't even wanna think about running the 2.4km. I started training a few weeks ago.
Once, I tried to set my pace to complete 2.4km in 10 mins. Two rounds afterwards, I gave up. Haha.
I've got no problem with the other stations. Just that one!! I'm not gonna let that take my gold! Haha.

5) Someone's got a boyfriend. ^,^
And I really wish you guys all the best. He's fun; friendly. Supposed to go out today, but, I still don't know what the plan is right now. Well, maybe next time.

6) Missed a session with Cloud Constructors and now I don't know how we're progressing. As a band, and as friends. Just have to stick together and produce, produce, produce. I know we got it in us. If we just try harder. I know we play better than most bands out there.
I tried so hard to develop myself as a person and as a productive band member. Come on. We got no one to prove anything to but ourselves. Let's stop the whining and start cracking.

7) Should spend more time with my family. Idraqi's birthday today, and I'm not there. Why? Architorture, that's why.

8) Architecture & the Built Environment Club Sports Fiesta! We've got most of it covered. We'll hand in the propoal, the advancement and the banner design by tomorrow, and hope for the best. 4th and 5th August. Be there or be square.

9) 6 photos to submit tomorrow. When will I have the time to print? I won't. So, how? I'll have to do it today then. No money, no time, no energy. Repeat GEMS?

10) Our ambitions; an intuition.

2009-07-11T23:53:00.003+08:00

The day started off achy for me. Literally and figuratively.
I even had to cancel the tuition. Yeah, that was a pain.
Now instead of 3 hours, I’ll have to do 4.5 next week. :(

Now how to pursue the dream of becoming a teacher if my immunity system is pretty fucked up?
To begin with, it is my parents’ dream that I feel obliged to fulfill.
But it’s all the same for me. So yeah, gotta make it work somehow. Insyallah. (:

Anyway, the journey home alone just now was, funny?
Here goes.
I was in the train from Outram and at the next stop, the empty seat next to me was hurriedly occupied by a Bangladeshi worker.
Ok, I am not a xenophobic freak or whatnots ok so get it straight.
Even though my intuition can be deceiving, I fucking knew he was constantly looking at me. I could sense it (I mean, you can see through the corner of your eye like that.)
“Ok, 5 or 6 more stops to JE. Just stay cool.”
Then from JE, I walked very slowly to the next train, and he actually waited for me to sit somewhere and he sat next to me, again. F?
There were too many seats around lah for heaven’s sake!
He was even grinning at me lah and showed a hand signal like “may I sit here?” Scaryyyy!
I was too lazy to stand ah so like no choice.

Like that was not enough, after two more stops, the aunty who sat on my left alighted and the seat was then taken by another Bangla who was initially sitting across. Sitting right across! Like, wtf? Wanna change change!
And so, I was sandwiched in between them. The BO certainly didn’t help my headache and it was bitterly uncomfortable. I need to breatheeeeee!

And I supposed they were both Bangladeshis because they were like showing off their phones and do what their kind do. Haha.
I know this is the norm for the girls, but God!
Dah sah dasar miang!

So ya basically that was it. I need to catch some sleep now or it’ll be fucking sinus. Fucking hate it.

And this is the new hair.
Which i like very much. (:

So sad eh to cut away my long hair which i kept for 2 long years.
But what choice do i have?
Sape suruh gatal perm rambot? Dah dasar miang mcm bangla.

Tmr a date with Babichin! (:

Nights!

-Haziqah

the fun in together, the sad in apart, the hope in tomorrow, the joy in the heart

2009-07-10T00:09:00.003+08:00

To Whom It May Concern
Ari & Ubai

U: wun u marry me..
if i cud be a gd guy..
A: i know you couldn't see
but i'll love you till i die
U: i'm standing in the rain..
and seeing u in a wedding dress
A: i'll keep with me all the pain
I'll save you from your distress
U: sumwhere closer i can hear u yell..
helping me thru every step...
A: this time i could tell
let's just cut this crap
U: even if i'm a rich boy..
will u remember my last name..
A: i can't buy you expensive toys
but you know i'm not lame
U: i see the girl of my dreams in u...
maybe not..
A: now when i think of you
all i feel is blue
U: tell me what's left..
just tell me once more..
A: i know there's none
what we had is just an old folklore

You know how to appreciate me.

2009-07-08T22:27:00.004+08:00

I say: no Hong Kong. Unless you wanna get H1N1.

The widespread of the influenza has to be prevented. Is this a way of doing so? We are all gifted with common sense. See: one good example is Architecture's KL trip. Something so near shouldn't be treated too lightly. Come on, SP. Do something. What's the use of checking temperatures if you don't increase the security levels to prevent the spread which I think has been already begun to get out of hand.

Well, for thse who are contemplating on going overseas, keep on contemplating. If you feel that you're doing yourself jutice, then think about others. National Day is coming. Here's a chance for you to show your patriotism; by helping prevent the widespread instead of further exposing yourselves to it.

Seems like you guys haven't learnt anything from the other outbreaks.

Get smart, for our survival's sake.

Live and let live. (Unless you got sick of it.)

Goodnight.

Sleep tight under your blanket of ignorance.

Sound asleep / wound with creed.

2009-07-08T22:02:00.002+08:00

I think my hair has long been the affront to my overall neatness without my noticing (i really mean it).
And soooooo, i did something to it. ;)

I have had 2 positive comments, Love's and Zahirah's.
And i think Sister and the bf also like it better than the last. :)

Alright that is all. Will get the picture up soon.
Also, we gotta catch up with Zahirah really really soon because she's up to something. *ewahh*

And more importantly,
yes, Hong Kong? Or no, Hong Kong?

-Haziqah

and so i like us just as fine

2009-07-07T00:36:00.003+08:00

Randomness. Haha.

Rubbish Sounds Nice
Ari & Ubai

A:pass the marijuana

you asked me out but i don't wanna

U:i'll kick ur butt..

till u fly into a hut..

A:you turned me down

jump in a lake and drown

U:u left me once..

and now i hafta make u regret..

A:you didn't give me a chance

I'm ari, don't you forget

U:i'll drag u into my world..

a world which u'll never forget

A:disintegrate you part by part

till nothing left, nothing but your broken heart

U: i knw u din mean it..

but i hafta do it..

A: erase my melancholy

it'll be better when i'm free

Have a nice day. Haha.

Your laughter eliminates all that's dark.

2009-07-05T17:45:00.003+08:00

I'd rather for you to not miss me than having to treat me like this.

I'm feeling lonely and melancholy.
Yeah, 've been around this many times.
But now i've finally come to my realization that life is bizarre without having the family, the boyfriend and friends.

Never thought the day is going to be filled with emptiness, much less this way.
I see misery.
Can i be elsewhere?

Hahaha! Okok cut the emo-ish all that already!

Anyway, i read a few stuff which helped me feeling a teeny bit better. :)

Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years who had taken a job in a new city last month came into town and told me that she had slept with a co-worker last Friday. Last Friday I was incredibly lonely but I turned down a very attractive woman for sex because I didn't want to hurt my girlfriend. FML

Today my husband's rich aunt and uncle came in town and handed us an envelope and said "we hope this helps out with the student loans". Inside the envelope was just an article on new student loan procedures and how to get lower payments. FML

Today, I went on an excellent first date. After the 'end of the date kiss' came "I suppose this is where I tell you that I'm married". FML
(tell me about it; not surprising)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

Hahaha! Ok, i've never had any phone sex (not that i could remember of), and i thought it is fucking plain stupid.

You have a nice, cooling day.

-Haziqah

i am sorry i never treated you the way you want it right; i am sorry that sorry is never enough

2009-06-29T09:32:00.002+08:00

Magnificent.

Insignificance.
Submit to the tyranny.
This is the dawn;
The congregation of the bold.
Domination,
From your perspective:
It matters not.
A mind is hard to please.

So wander aimlessly.
In your concealed rage.
A part of you that cannot deal
With the character you're forced to be.
We're all buried in deceit.
Lost in the comfort of belonging.
I don't care 'cause I can't feel anymore
Are we done with this.

Caught in the crossfire
Still with endless desire
In the cloud of napalm shimer
The dawn of my destiny

Wake up early or what Ari?
At least won't be late again. I don't wanna go to school. I've been so paranoid, I'm begining to feel like I have flu-like symptoms. The temperature subsided but I still have headaches.
No models still for massing stage of my project.
Is this what I really wann do? Just geddit done and over with. Hahh.

Maalaala mo kaya ang panahón?

2009-06-28T20:06:00.004+08:00

I am only a quarter prepared for tmr.
E other 3 were gone with gossiping. Tsk. Blame only a part of it on me.
The motivator is not here with me, causing me to drift.
Double tsk.

Said it all, I have to go back to my Educational Psychology.

Being a psychology student is never easy eh.
Triple tsk.

May God bless me and them all.
Alright Michael Jackson, i'll see you tmr!

-Haziqah

i think about you constantly, whether it's with my mind or my heart

2009-06-27T23:29:00.007+08:00

Spilled the beans and expect me to be 'just ok' with it?
Even if it involves something personal that is doubtless fairly poisonous?
No.
I am never to spill my guts to just anyone.
Truth be known, i am not some kind of a dork to be kidded.
To be kept in the dark, fooled by all the pretense.
I don't feel the need for you to lament over the mistake though.
You’re forgiven, definitely.
How can you not be, love?
I’ll love you as deeply still, never the less. (:

Anyway, i am terribly sorry for not doing the updates, if anyone should care.
Didn’t go online till today. Need to check some email thingy from SP.
Why am i in SP again and not in NYP?
Oh ya, coz i hated that school so much for no apparent reason.
They did absolutely nothing to me for heaven's sake. Tsk.

On a completely scary-to-death note, i’ll be drop dead because I have yet to study for my upcoming Monday test. :/
I am waiting for Nurul Jannah, who still doesn’t seem to bother. :(
I need to study with her!
Ok ok, take perlu all the mourning all right.

I am beginning to cough really horribly now and i strongly feel it is NOT due to H1N1.
Unless someone or something convincing tells me that i am, God forbids, suffering from it.
I also have flu, to add on to the fear.
I simply refuse to go see a doctor, which is the only obvious solution to my problem. Heh.
I’m never a fan of doctors anyway.
I guess i’ll need to consult a doctor real soon if my condition worsen before school reopens, however much itch i don’t want to.
Must not be selfish and cause unnecessary worrying in DADP.

Alright gotta go and have my well-deserved rest.
And fyi, our tagboard is meant for us, not a battlefield for you.

-Haziqah

you're the rhythm to my heart, leaving me wordless and completely amazed

2009-06-15T13:53:00.002+08:00

I started my day bad.
Very bad. :(

Anyway, i came across an article which says something about first love being so special, it is never forgotten.
Some said it is the most beautiful, sweet and all and yada yada.

I, then happened to think about mine.
I realise i never really reminisce or even gave a slight thought about it now.
Because ironically, mine was tragic.
Close friends know what happened.
It was almost like a heart-rending love story you often watch in movies.

I can only laugh now.
Hahahaha! I mean, to think again about it, it was funny.
I was so young and naïve then, I doubt I knew it was love I was going through.
I even thought of marrying him! Oh. My. God.
Certainly, it was foolish of me.
HAHAHAHAH!

Till then!

Oh ya Zahidah, don't worry about it anymore! (:

=)

-Haziqah

now it was foolish of us

2009-06-08T12:36:00.000+08:00

Ok, i'm downloading.
I hate youtube and imeem till the rest of my fucking life!
Grrrrrrrrrhh!

Anyways, we shopped yesterday at Lot 1. =)
To get my bra and his boxers (he thought of getting briefs for a change but then decided not to coz i reckon it'll look especially unpleasant with the way he wears his jeans or berms so lowly, revealing 1/4 of his boxers).

He was the one who suggested me getting a new bra because i kept adjusting yesterday's.
But it wasn't the bra, it was me (i hooked it wrongly leh)!
Ah nevermind.
But i like the way he looked so uncomfortable when i pulled him to the women section. Hahahaha!
He got used to it eventually.

Then he pulled me to Watson, and insisted i get something there.
I don't know why he was such in a spendthrift mood yesterday.
Maybe it was the GSS influence.
Everything was so sex cheap lah.

Eh but GSS, i hate you already.
It is ongoing when i'm at my worst financially!
Like, ok fine whatever, i'm good.
Arrrggggghhhhhhhh!

Timecheck: 12:30PM.
Ari Hakikat is still in bed. And i was already awake since 2 hours ago.
The problem is, he always sleeps late and wakes up late.
But i'm the total opposite.
How?

Never mind. Quick update done.
Now i have to do some housework or i cannot go out. And i must go out coz Ari Hakikat promised a movie today. :)

Let's do something fun for the holidays!

=)

-Haziqah

something cold and hard grips my heart. Fear.

2009-06-05T18:10:00.008+08:00

(READ, because i think this is you.)

Have you ever been into a packed train, and you happen to be(the unlucky one) standing in front of a man who confidently raises his left arm whom, to your horror, obviously suffers from a serious odour problem and all you would want to do is to ask him a rhetorical question, as nicely as possible, "do you hmm know a thing hmm that was invented not so long ago hmm which is called hmmmmmm........ Deodorant!?"

Ok, tell me all about it.
I won't reveal the race coz i'm not a racist. Haha. ;)

Anyway, i need to blog about this.
I have submitted my DIE essay, fainaliii!
Am i happy or psyched? :D

=)

-Haziqah

a silent hug means a thousands words to the unhappy heart

2009-06-02T13:30:00.002+08:00

One needs to be careful of what comes out of the mouth.
Can anyone be more insensitive than that?

Just one thing you need to know.
Ari and I don't do sex.
And that is that.

If you think you know me well enough to be passing such offensive remark, i tell you now.
You don't know one bit about me.
You don't know shit about me.

Good.
I will leave that piece to cease.

Anyways, I'll have to start working on my essay (or Ari Hakikat will start his non-stop hit nags).
And to do so effectively and efficiently, i have to close all windows related to IE. :(

On a happier note, i can't wait for 6pm to hit!

=)

-Haziqah

doubling my joys while dividing my sorrows

2009-05-26T14:12:00.004+08:00

Almost everything i had vowed to do yesterday was not done!

I was still gossiping with Nurul Jannah Anuar Khan during lecture, which i couldn't resist because yesterday's was good.
I also couldn't hide anything from Ari Hakikat Subtu, that he saw my hideous scribbles all over my lecture notes.

I didn't do any revision after class. Instead i took retarded photos with Zahirah Omar, Norlena Chohari and Nuresah Abdul Ghani.

Nevertheless, i ought to be slightly proud of myself upon completion of presentation slides!
And i'll be at National Library later searching for useful resources for my essay.

Syabas Nur Haziqah Zainol.

=)

-Haziqah

love is not blind, it sees but often doesn't mind

2009-05-25T08:37:00.003+08:00

I should die now.
Coz i have not started on my presentation slides yet.
Hell, stop talking abt slides.
No research done, as yet.

Sorry Ejjatos! :(

This week i shall be good.

Listen ATTENTIVELY in lectures and tutorials. (Stop gossiping with Jannah)
Start on assignments IMMEDIATELY. (Go beyond the 8-to-5-only rule)
Do a lil' revising after sch. (No more movies)

Of which, here i am blogging instead of listening to this business shit.
And to revise, i need my books which i pathetically have not gotten yet!

And the saddest of all sads, i end at 5 today!

Howwwww?

=(

-Haziqah

it's just the same, always unchanged

2009-05-24T11:26:00.002+08:00

I seriously think i need a job.
Ok, not think. I seriously need one.
Right na na na.

We're considering CSC.
Ha. Ha. Ha.
Oh yes it's a big maybe.
Anyone wants to join in the fun?

I was from there and working there suck the hell outta you!
But i cannot think of any other job that's reallyyyyy worth 4 bucks per hour.
And Tiet studio, i don't know.

I am awfully hungry because i ate last at 4.37 pm, and i think i've lost 100 gram, barely.
I'm a big time picky eater and my house is not amply supplied with my definition of "good" food. I'll just have to wait patiently for Ari Hakikat to bring me somewhere nice.

Ari Hakikat is way way in the east. My comp is lagging like cibai. Youtube is not doing any justice to people who are not MTV-accessible. There's a pungent smell coming from somewhere.

What else?

:/

-Haziqah

let your soul gravitate to the love y'all

2009-05-22T18:50:00.003+08:00

What can be worse than having to wait?
Wait some more?

Yeah, ok fine.
Because i'm so sweet like that, i shall not complain.
Hehehh.

My handwriting is becoming more.....
Illegible. :O
It is now almost impossible to read or decipher.
Of coz thank you technology.

Wahsey life’s a bore.
I think I’m gonna play some games.
Oh yes, Haziqah now knows how to play computer games okayyyyy.
I'm not sekekentalanzxzx sedahulu.
But I am not an addict, maybe not yet?

Girls, meet me soon puh-lease?

=)

-Haziqah

i wish i am looking into yr eyes, yours.

//

Forgot to put this pic.
Ari Hakikatkatkatkat! :)

I dunch wantsz too putx ma picx becoxz she said i am,
UNPRETTY.

You're a bitch, can?

2009-05-20T09:46:00.002+08:00

Everything. Turned. Out. Pretty. Well. Surprisingly.

=)

Things. Were. Never. Better.

=)

Alhamdulillah.

=)

So. How. About. Some. Making. Up?

=)

Lets. Go.

=)

VOILAAA!

Some Macaroni and Cheeeeeeese.

Mushroom Soup.

And dessert! Banananananana split.
Oh My God i love this one.

We had a decent home-cooked meal.
Nothing beats the time spent with you. :)

Ok, that is all.
I'm in class now, and my task is to listen to them presenting.
Well, supposedly.

Have fun!

=)

-Haziqah

one found, another pending

2009-05-16T01:07:00.003+08:00

Making someone feel special is never easy.
Tell me about it.

I'm only human.
Afterall, it's only words.

___________________________________________________________________

I don't see this as an oversight though.
Or perhaps, i seemed oblivious to the fact that i'm actually the farthest towards success.

I have to keep on striving.
Tirelessly.

-Haziqah

it's beyond those words where everything lies

2009-05-04T00:08:00.005+08:00

How could it be; the hand that fed now bleeds
And now you drop this catastrophe with your own 2 hands
For I shall not lay eyes on this commotion any longer
Instead with my hands, i shall impail this matter
Zabad for an effete, ephemeral mortal seared

Guide me, Allah...
A new start, I hope...

2009-05-02T02:39:00.006+08:00

To whom will always be in my heart,
Nur Haziqah,
The most beautiful of Allah's creation.
Nothing will make me feel more greatful to Him.

Why don't we just be honest.
If you don't see the point in this anymore,just do it.
There'll be no more of your pretence.
No more of the need for this blog.
"Just let me go..." you said.
I'm not blaming you.
For what I did, I shall pay;
I shall be the one with questions.
I shall be kept in the dark and not know.
I shall be the one falling victim to pretence after so long.
Why don't you just be honest.

My commitment, I swear is sincere. My loyalty, only to you. Those times are so far away from us and the future so faded. If you're too young, then I'm too old. I'm taking this too soon, too fast. All the more, you should wanna be left. Your inner thoughts has come to a consensus. The jury in which I, whom I thought was a boyfriend, was locked out of. I personally feel it's alright. If I can't make you happy then only you could. Or that "someone" you always talk about finding who would not hurt you.

Never in my mind have I ever thought of leaving. However, just go if you wanna.

All I'm saying is: I've been through the best year anyone could ever face. One whole year with you. I'm glad I found you amidst the crowd of crazy, action-seeking, sweaty and full of life freshies. I'm glad you saved me from my past. I'm glad you did the best you could to make me a better person. Stopped drinking, stopped hurting myself as much, for encouraging me in my studies, for taking care of me when I'm sick, and the list will just go on and on for pages if I were to continue writing. You'll still love me, you said; after we do it cleanly.

Looking back, the times we fought: third parties, misunderstanding, sometimes it's not even our faults, I think to myself. We're so lucky. I thought our relationship was as solid and as transparent as diamond. But it seems like it's not. Seems I was too blind to not know how you feel. I did ask. I'm sorry if I just wasn't approachable enough. I'd listen to you; you now I would.

We took on responsibilities together: certain things that we have in common (we're keeping it shush and we're working to fix), a certain Hera (if anyone have heard?), words (of which binds), and most importantly, a future. So, I've worked my way in favour of what we've planned and so now... Where do I put them? On the desk when I leave so that someone can finish my job? Or take it with me and finish my job with someone else? Whatever I've done or will do, will only be for you. Go on: tell me I'm bullshitting or I shouldn't think that, but at the end of the day, I believe in what I want and need. My conscience is clear. One person to put the pieces of my life into place. Fuck anyone who's gonna say I'm weak or not 'man' enough. No one will ever understand cos no one has given you or will ever give you the kind of love I've been having for the past year.

Nyai (my grabdmother) has been asking about you; why you haven't seen her.

It didn't occour to me that tears are rolling. It has been since I started this post, if I'm not wrong. I don't understand. What do I need to do now?

Just know, love, I'll be happy as long as you have anything at all that'll make you happy. No matter what. Even if it eliminates me.

Your Love,
Ari Hakikat,
Who'll cherish you with all of my heart;
Till eternity.

"just let me go.." how it disheartened..

2009-05-01T00:52:00.002+08:00

Can i cope with two concurrent jobs? And the MC post: I really want it cos I wanna have more opportunities to make things happen. My band; I've worked hard to get to where I am right now, and I'm planning to do more. To top it all off, FYP. I know it'll be hard for me, but, I really wanna do this. With Nur Haziqah by my side, it'll all be alright.

I really need the money, I really need friends, I really need club and everyone in it, I really need my band to stay tight, I really need to study, I really need Nur Haziqah. All of it I have right now, and I wish they won't go anywhere.

Currently on training at Tiet studios now, I'll be doing my first solo slot on the 9th. I guess this job'll be ok, since I get to do my school work if there isn't a lotta customers. I'm just worried if I'll get bored when no one's with me till I close at 11.
I hope I'll get home-cooked meal for lunch tmrw. :D
Just now, while in the library, another job opening: tuition at Sembawang. 2 X 1.5 hrs per week. I was thinking of doing it when Nur Haziqah asked me if I wanna do it together, but, again, TIME.

I've always have a dream of passing down the experiences I had; of being part of a club, down to freshies. I have always seen clubs as a place where you'll meet true friends; family, for three years of your poly life.
Farhan then, Abu. The people whom I respect so much for their believes. I understand they are only human, but great leaders, they are. A little appreciation goes a long way, I have to tell certain people. I really don't wanna engage in politics here, so, moving on..
It's ok if i don't get that post. I'll still "bring the circle to me". I hope everyone in club loves me. If you have anything you guys wanna say, just do it directly. I take it better that way. But if you wanna choose to bitch, then.. Haha. Whatever floats your boat..

My band's taking it slow now. Like what Radi said: "we wanna like what we play instead of having lotsa recordings which we don't all agree on." Spoken like a true musician. So, we'll excogitate in our lair, concocting poems depicting the epoch of our domination.

FYP... I really, really, really wanna just geddit done and over with. After that, it'll be a whole new story; a fresh start. I swear. It'll be easier after the diploma. Trust me on this. This goes out to everyone pursuing the cert.

Nur Haziqah... You have been wonderful. always have been, and always will be. Your everlasting support'll keep me going. Even when I'm outta breath, you'll be there to calling me on. Please don't say I pamper you too much.. I just feel happy when we eat recently. I'm sorry it's affecting your shape, but you're always lovely, baby.
I'm trying so hard to put on weight...

distances disregarded, amorous blitzkrieg.

2009-04-29T21:16:00.003+08:00

Hey!

The second week of sch has gone pretty fine thus far.
Except for the fact that i have to bear, for the whole of the semester, with the most "URGH!" lecturer i've ever came across. No particular word to well describe.
This is what happened, just today.

I was late for her class. Since i knew how "URGH!" she is from her first day, i made it a point to not be late. And i was so much close.
But shit happens and yes, i felt like shitting! Really bad.
So i was late for about 20 mins, i walked into the class and guess what?

"STOP! Apologise to them, the ones who are presenting. ASK FOR THEIR PERMISSION to sit."

So i did. The next step i took, again guess.

"STOP! Now apologise to the class!"

And hell yes, i did!
I know i was wrong for being late, and maybe it is unfair to the class. But excuse me, the way you asked me to stop was as if i'm a god damn criminal who was trying to run away from you!
Complete with that 'roll eyes/whatever' expression. WTF was that for?
Is that what you've been taught to teach?

You didn't even bother to ask the reason i was late.
It wasn't on purpose.
I WAS HAVING A FUCKING STOMACHE, DAMMIT!

Well the next time i am facing the same situation, i will hold it till the end of your class, and be sure of my non-stop farting hits.
And pls stop your ask-for-permission thing, i swear.
Ninabei!
(I bolded to show how angry i was, okay.)

Alright that fuck thing aside, i reached home quite early today.
Thought of meeting up with Farhanah, but i was too sleepy and i don't think i would wanna wait till 5. Hehe, sorry sister!

Hakikat started his work at Tiet just now, so being a good girlfriend that i am, i sent him. :)
Walked home alone, and i wished he was there to talk crap with me like usual.
Instead, there was a bunch of Matreps walking just in front of me.
I think i walked quite timidly, maybe not timid just careful.
With one of them kept turning back didn't help at all.

I think Ari Hakikat has been pampering me too much by sending me home everyday that i become scared, or rather insecure.
I used to be such a brave and daring girl, walking home at 12plus am without thinking of possible harms. What more my estate is well-known for its Matreps, drunkards and drug addicts.

And back to the pampering bit, Ari Hakikat has been feeding me so much lately, i think i've grown twice. Bleargh!

I love Ari Hakikat nevertheless. :)

This was taken weeks ago, and now i'm twice as big okayyy. So, beat it.

Oh yeah,
Happy 4th Anniversary, Nurul Jannah with Nurul Hafiz.
I'm so happy for the two of you. :)
Even though i've witnessed a lot of the bitter parts, i hope all the sweetness will never fail to bring the both of you back together, like it always have. :)

And yeah, Happy Anniversary, Baby!
Haha, okay that was a random one.
But hey, it's coming to a year ok.
Syabas, Haziqah! :)

=)

and even when we're worlds apart, just keep this promise in your heart

2009-04-24T17:30:00.001+08:00

makan has been an important part of our lives right now. i love food. this is ari, btw. HAHA. i wanna gain. my girlfriend doesn't feel secured. cos i weigh too little. fly weight.

for haziqah, it has always been important. :P that's good: for me. hehe. but for her... hmmm... i'm not saying anything, but, she's always complaining. hehe.

ok. pasta mania, done. now, going for kfc. hwahwahwa.

fuck what people wanna say ah. i'm happy!

let's makan till we die!

2009-04-20T09:39:00.002+08:00

No worries.
No time.
No pressure.
I'm assured.

In bloom, our creation
thrice protested
no stopping your wrath
nothing ingested

Start of year three; with the mindset of just getting it done and over with. Diploma, then later can talk. As of now, no plans to further studies in Architecture. *two words*

Good luck to all!

a whole new cycle *insert keywords*

2009-04-19T23:00:00.000+08:00

Baik pe last post.

Thank you.

2009-04-18T13:12:00.002+08:00

Ok, aku mendak pe.

Ade matair mcm takde matair.
Ade kawan mcm takde kawan.
Ade hidup mcm takde hidup.

Alah bencinye aku!

not at fault

2009-04-17T20:56:00.006+08:00

I have so much photos.
Let me upload some bits, here and there.
So, photos galore for now.

And so when you have gotten yourselves cute cute friends, they tend to do cute cute things for you.
Thank you so much for the surprise birthday celebration.
Even though i was down with fever, i sure had fun.
I know it is kinda late, but thank you.
From the bottom of my heart. :)
And baby, thank you so much for the big and sweet card. :)

Shall do this more often!
Unforgettable memory; when it started to pour quite heavily, everyone squeezed under the picnic mat(was it?) and marched away in search for shelters.
So you can imagine how we managed to attract so much attention just that.
I swear i would want to relive those hilarious moments. :)

And for the cute-cute perempuans who brought the cute-cute cake and waited tirelessly near my doorsteps, another big thank you. :)
I still have yet to upload the photos from my camera.
Some unavoidable technical glitches. Heheh.
Much apologies, lovelies.

As for yesterday's party and overnight photos(!!!!!!!!), let's just wait.
Needles to say, i had a blast! We all had.

I still have two more days left to enjoy before school starts.
And i have already made plans.
With who?

With love.

=)

miracles do happen; you are mine

2009-04-16T10:05:00.000+08:00

What's in a true life? Behind the crumbling walls of dream and infant illusion; action without movement, desire without heart. It is over and done. It is over and done! To crave for touchless objects and fathom without eyes; the fall of all things personal that no one sees.

Burn it to the ground. No firewall will save you. Burn it to the ground. Take me to the keep and bare the darkest void; thousand fold the agony of silenced screams. Alone tune right out of static. Exorcise the dark how else can we move on.

Two more das till freedom. For two days. ARGH! Fuckin give me a break. And school starts soon after. New year. New brief for new project. Predicted same fucked up grades.

At least made the best of my attachment. The best anyone would have gotten. No direct link to archi work; I learnt more about why people shouldn't do archi: cos there're more exciting things that you guys can do out there. Don't be stupid and feel you should go with your heart and pursue architecture. Regrets I have a few, but then again, too few to mention.

I DID IT MY WAY!

Ok. Can't wait to finish my two reports. Then I'm liberated. Haha. Actually, I think our attachment period is too short. I really wanted to familiarize with the work they do there. I respect them for protecting the safety of transportation in Singapore.

As for my sweetums, who has always been there; pushing me, and given me time with my work and workmates, another year of poly life with you! This year, I hope I'll do better. You? No doubt you will, baby.

Freshies, unite on this day, and get ready for a beat down if you mess with us. Fuck all the mat reps whom I saw coming to SP for the orientation thing. You mess with me, I tell you..

I won't let my focus shift.

2009-04-15T15:37:00.002+08:00

Hello.

Yesterday was the first time after so long, i ate like a cute cute babi.
I wanted this, this, that but i know it didn't bug Hakikat one bit. XD
He loves me with my weird eating habit. :))
I didn't feel fat though, maybe because i've not been eating much for the past 1 week.
So me, being the happy babi, like it so much when i finally got all i craved for, especially Chewy Junior!
*clap clap*

I like it more when i got to talk-talk with si Nures!
And spending so much time with si Love (he had his own-time-own-target lunch, so yeah).

Yesterday, made me look forward to tomorrow.
I'm sexcited!
So tomorrow, pls come quick.
Ok tomorrow? Make me happy eh?
Thank you, tomorrow. :)

I got that BOOM BOOM BOOOOOM!
You spin my head right round right rounddddddd.

=))

we will live most at peace with each other

2009-04-10T12:05:00.002+08:00

termination,
determination.
blow,
what i show.
burn,
my concern.
beating,
this selflessness stings.
take me on!

Zack and Halim never failed to make Radi snap yesterday. He's so full of energy, watching him tires me. And Lez got presents for the self-proclaimed MROs. What a Good Friday Eve...

However, always present in my train of thoughts; the captain of the locomotive, is none other than my dearest, Nur Haziqah. I'm sorry for the times I've not been there for you.. And you know for the times I was, I tried to make the best of my presence. I hope you're a bit better..

I'm gonna get a bit more serious. The phase in my life where I have to adjust certain aspects of my life. Nothing major, I hope.

I'd like to sincerely thank those people who've listened. Believe me, it's only the tip of the iceberg; more things in my mind than anyone will know. I hope I'd sort it out. I hope. I want.

There'll be no dark times when we're together, baby.

2009-04-09T19:32:00.002+08:00

(To anyone who cared)

Hi.

I'm only a little better, than yesterday.

Can anyone pls tell me a significant difference between a painkiller and a sleeping pill?

The painkillers didn't fucking kill my pain.

It made me sleep.

Never mind.

Well, i really wish i was the girl who used to be so much alive than this.

If there is anyone i should miss, it shall be me.

Yes, i miss myself.

No one misses anyone else as much as i do.

I'm weak.

Pls stand by me.

This is miserable at best.

i'll be with you through your darkest of time, pls be in mine

2009-04-04T10:00:00.000+08:00

Hope you're doing well. I've got lots to think about myself.

Honorous amount of stress self-impoed on my self the past few days but I know what I'm doing is for the greater good. Passion in what you do is really important. You lose passion in something fast. So keep life interesting.

It has always been (interesting) for me; the thrills, lessons learnt, etc. All of that, I've done alone. Till now. The things we go through with each other made me better (or so I think) individually. The regrets that I have ever had in my life are all washed away; not even a glimpse left, by what one person brought into my life.

Don't take life for granted. It's short, no doubt. Be sure of your passion and go all out.

Rest well, baby.

I'm so sure of making this right.

2009-04-01T15:57:00.007+08:00

Firstly, 18?!?! Profile changed.
Chey, same age lah with Ari Hakikat. :)

Would like to say a big big thank you for all the presents and wishes, from all means.
I am still getting wishes though. Haha.
Sorry i couldn't reply all smses. I was trying to save on my bill. Hence, to be fair i didn't reply any smses. Hee.
Am truly sorry for that!

Also, thank you Farhanah, Maisarah, Jannah and Hafiz for spending yr precious time with me.
But i still have a long list of people whom i want/need to meet.

Baby, thank you so much for all and everything you've done.
I was speechless and i hope i could do better for yr birthday.
Whatever i did was nothing,undeniably, compared to yours. I'm sorry.
I love you deeply, and i would want to always love you.
Whatever happens, you know i will be right here for you.
Thank you, again, love. (:

More pictures of FOC!
Huilin! You so sweeeeeet!
Thank you, dear.
We sure had lots of fun together. (:

Forever Horny people.
I'mma proud mama. (:

Red red hu hu! (:

=)

with everything i do for you, don't forget to keep that smile on your face

2009-03-30T11:34:00.004+08:00

FOC was a blast!
I've been waking up, reminiscing about the moments spent there.
With the people, the activities, the laughter, and also the tears upon leaving.

First 2 days was preparation. They are seriously fun to be with.
Every single one of them means so much to me now. :)

(A few missing though like Nas, Lena, Gary, Mus, Haikal)

Now, let's talk about the camp. (I prayed very hard not to get any boring camper for my group)
Leading my group, Horny, was one of the sweetest moments i had.
They seemed to be enjoying everything.
And unlike me(hehehh), they love getting wet and didn't mind getting dirty.
Horny people!
They went through all the activities wearing a smile on their faces and i've not heard them complaining about anything.
I ought to be grateful for having this fun bunch of freshies.
I'm sorry if Chuan En and me ever made you unhappy or whatsoever.
We love you all ah kayy!
Munadi binadi!

Another thing which i loveeee going for camp is, sleeping and waking up beside Love!
Thank you so much for treating me well. I love you!

Time spent was wonderful. I'm glad i attended it.
My birthday wish; i wish to relive the moments. Wahh so touching. :')

I cannot go on 11th!!!!!!!! :'(
Alot alot of pictures up soon!

Outing with darlings on the very next day! Thank you so much for the celebration.
So many foooooood! I like. Was deprived of good food anyway. Hehe.
I love all of you! Muackszxz!

i yearn for your presence, i wish for your endless love

2009-03-25T00:00:00.001+08:00

Happy 19th!

Nur Haffizah Zainol.

Do take care, oh nurse. Haha.
And take care of the family for me.
Tell them not to miss me so much.
I know i am such a sweetheart to everyone. Hoh Hoh. (:

I love you, sister!

Wahsehhh i miss them.

now it's one word, three letters. FUN.

2009-03-22T14:57:00.004+08:00

Will not be updating for the whole of next week for camp.
Will be back. (:

I have stories to tell! Haha.
But only for Jannah and Fana. Remind me once i'm back.

Do take care, coz i will.

=)

//

I especially can't wait for MT night.
Will be a "babydoll", on tricycle. Coz THEY said i look like one. Teeheee!
Yaya such a smug i am.
Maybe it was because of my vertically challenged size that i have to do it. Vadever.
I'll have to wear this pink, kembang skirt with sequin though. With pink and black striped stockings.
Macam korean gitu. But i think i'll look like, belo?

:/

come what may, we will make the most out of it

2009-03-19T17:25:00.010+08:00

HAPPY 18!

Nur Farhanah Bte Jumaat!

The one who has given me so much advices on so many issues.
The best of all friends I've ever had.
I love you, ok sista? (:

Noor Izzaty Bte Ishak!

The silly one in class.
Whose mother's name is Azizah.
Chehh i know siaaa!
And you're the bomb!
Love you. (:

Hope the both of you enjoy the day with anyone you wanna celebrate it with.
And both boyfriends, better treat them extra special today. Haha.

That's it for now.

just who you are, not what you wanna be

2009-03-19T15:07:00.004+08:00

Hakikat:

Seems like a lot to do. I still have to do it. I promised an A for ITP. This one is highly possible.

I'd like to thank three special people whom I'll be working with closely for the next two-three weeks. Without your help... Haha. Once again, Thank you. And I appreciate your help.

Ok. This is f'ed up. Was using my laptop and suddenly this popped up:
"Some files on your machine are encrypted and your private informations were collected and sent to us.
To decrypt your files so you could see them again, you have to buy our decryptor.
After you buy decryptor, your files will be decrypted and we will destroy your private informations from our system, and help you remove malicious software from your system.
To buy decryptor, contact us at: Brandos87@gmail.com or Brandos87@yahoo.com
If you don't contact us, your private informations will be shared and you will loose all your data."

Come on. Who will do such a thing? If you really need money, go rob a bank or some thing la. Fuck man. Fine. You wanna take all my data, take la. I can't be bothered. All I can say is: you've succesfully irritated me for causing my laptop to lag so much and made me loose a lot of my data, that I'm given such a GPA. Happy? Thank you. And If you erase all my data, thanks. I'm done with everything, btw. Won't affect me at all. Just take everything and leave, ok? Haha.

That aside, I'd like to say I can't wait for this week to end and for the next to start. And next week to end and the next to start. Haha.

Your happiness is essential to my own.

2009-03-18T17:38:00.003+08:00

Wow. That was thrilling. And I hope you know why I did that, baby.

Went for site visit at 10. technical officer went to another site at ard 1230 and asked me to take my time. Hahh! Proceeded to Causeway to have lunch with ♥. Got to spend time till 3. Not everybody and not every day get to do that. ;) Looking forward to next site visit. TMRW AH! Haha.

Back to my seriousness, my log book's turning out pretty satisfactory. A bit too satisfactory. I wanna get a good grade for this so can bring up my gpa. Even a little. Therefore, it has to be excellent. I'll make it. Gotta work on my punctuality.

Bubye seriousness. Hello light-heartedness.

We wanna get a hamster. Anyone wanna have one too? So that our darling won't be lonesome? :) Gonna get the ball-thingy thing (sounds wrong, but whatev) so that can bring to school every day.

With all the time I have at work, be prepared for a surprise, baby!!! ((:

For all the times then, for the time now and for all the times to come- *insert keywords*

2009-03-18T11:24:00.004+08:00

I wanna say thank you to everyone who has given me all the support, my family, friends, the Love, which i needed so much bla bla bla bla........
*holding a trophy, smiling extra wide, tears rolling*

Haha. I need the trophy lah. I deserve it mannnnn!

I think i did pretty well. At least it was better than i've ever expected for semester 2. :)
And i will definitely work extra harder for year 2!
A busy year for me, a crucial year for Ari Hakikat. Can't wait to study together! :)

And thanks Syafiq, Shabana, and Farhanah for sharing the joy with me over MSN.
At least they bothered asking upon reading my CAPS message regarding results. :)

Yayyyyy!
Camp camp here i come!
I will shout and scream and cheer and jump and monkey around like there's no tomorrow!

=)

this is reality, and it will always be

2009-03-18T09:09:00.002+08:00

Unlike all of you who have checked your results, I have not.

Well, I can only hope. The last two years haven't been the best for me, academically. I do have a some woes and regrets, but then again, they're too few to mention. Guess it's all uphill from here. It's now or never. I share my joy for everyone who's happy with their results. For those who aren't let's get serious. Haha. (Thinking of "why so serious?" Hate you all for doing that to her. Really. Now, I'm serious.)

So, I've got three assignments in hand. A lot to work with? Nah. Guess not, since I'm actually interested. Feel like coming back after graduating.

More than proud, wanna shout it out loud.

2009-03-17T22:45:00.003+08:00

Ah fine. Don't bother anymore!

Good luck for results, SPs!
I hope all the compliments i've received from the lecturers will show in my results.
*Pray pray*

Anyway, i had fun today, along with the heart-to-heart talk with Zahirah and our leisure walk, together with Ari.
Just with a stroll under the moonlight, Magnum ice-cream(thanks baby), random jokes, the tease and not forgetting the painful(!!!) slaps and pinches are more than enough to make my day. =)
I love them! ♥♥♥

And as for Zahirah (one of the true friends i have left, if it's not too harsh), everything will be fine.
I know you won't be able to read this, but i just feel like posting. Hehe.
And you know, i'll always be here for you. Together with Ari Hakikat eh. Haha.
We love you ok? :)

Someone's birthday is coming right up! *eyebrow motion*

=)

nothing shines as bright, and feels as right

2009-03-17T14:01:00.004+08:00

I personally belive in freedom of speech.
But what are you if you just speak. Anonymity is respected. But I'll never aknowledge. So, If any one did that, be happy, for you have caused certain melodrama between certain people. Does it satisfy you? Glad it does. I don't always get to make just anyone happy. So, everything ok? come by if you still wanna, ok? no worries. Whatever mood swings that're coming, I'm ready.

Till then, see ya, people who're entengled in the web. Life outdoors is way better. Try it someday, zaniero. Or better: find some friends.

The best thing outta this: first time I didn't get a red line down there.

Bismillahirahmanirahim.
Oh Allah, buka lah hati si penulis yang sebelum ku. supaya dia ke jalan yang lurus, supaya dia hargai tali persahabatan, supaya dia lebih bersabar. Ya Allah, Ya Tuhan ku, kuat kan lah iman kami semua supaya tidak membazir masa dan perhatian kepada alam siber ini, jika ia tidak membawa sebarang faedah. Ya Allah, Ya Tuhan ku, ampunilah dosa-dosa setiap daripada kami kerana Kau lah yang maha pengampun lagi maha penyayang. Jadikan lah kami khalifah-khalifah yang baik, walaupun tidak sempurna. Eratkan lah tali persahabatan dan kesaudaraan supaya kejadian yang sebergini tidak lagi berlaku. Kau lah yang maha mengetahui, Ya Allah...
Amin...

So, good luck for our coming results, ya, poly people!

Seems like I'm null-

I'm here, ever ready to render help, with arms wide open.

2009-03-13T13:58:00.002+08:00

Ahhh i'm fcuking bored!
Facebook does nothing.
I don't know which blog to read.
Arrrhhhh!

I wanna go out but i'm too lazy to get ready.
But most importantly, if i were to go out, with who?

Kimaks, i've never felt this lonely and bored before.
I wish i am still having my exams so at least i can study, study, study and keep myself real busy.

Ah fine. I wanna go shave my legs.

to see the norms in an extraordinary way

2009-03-11T12:56:00.003+08:00

I planned and promised myself to do/complete a lot of things after my exams, during my exams.
Wait. Did i make any sense?
If you get what i mean ah.

I need to tidy up my closet, my papers, my bed, and basically my room.
But everytime i think about it now, like suddenly it struck my mind, i would choose to ignore it.
Thinking about my well-deserved rest after months of endurance, all the more i did nothing to my promises.
Guess that one's mind learns to block out things it doesn't want to address eh? Haha.

Gahhh. I'll see if i have the mood to start on anything laterzxz.
Before fetching Hakikat! (:

Anyways, a bigger part of me wants to go for FO camp so badly. Come quick!
And why oh why they didn't make it till 31 March?!
Syamil?!?! Bernice?!?! Zara?!?! And all the rest?!?!
But i know i will give it all out for this camp, even though CASS might think i'm a big fat traitor.
Whatever.
OMG. I wanna be with the helpers again ah! They're fcukin cute and funny lah.
I miss everyone there. (:

And, i need to go out and spend many many time with many many friends can?!
All busy busy busy busy!
Plan cancel plan cancel! Worst, never plan at all.
Grrrrrr!

Thank God Haziqah is a very forgiving person. =D

Ok, i wanna go do things that will enlighten my day.
Muahzxzxz!

=)

just what i needed

2009-03-09T12:52:00.004+08:00

I feel damn tired and lazy. Perfect ambience to spend some time updating though.

FOP camp was fine. Frankly, i didn't know what and how to feel about it, due to unforeseen circumstances.
Just that i'm very very glad to have known a few new friends. And i miss them already.
We can be good friends eh? Highly possible. (:

Baby came after his work to accompany me for the two nights.
Thank you for the sanitary pad. It was cute when you couldn't find it in many stores. Haha.
Needless to say this, but i love you. ♥

Just an old photo. When he had his haircut
Which he hated oh so much. Haha.

And very sorry to Jannah, and the rest of the DADP01. Was shagged. Really hoped i could join in the fun. Ah nehmind. Sorry again.

No clue to what Randee and Gail wanted to do, to me. Hah!

Met Fifi the other day, and as i hugged her tight, i realised how busy we were, till we could not even find the time for each other anymore. I am really missing you girls. :(

Couldn't remember who edited this. Nadzirah i guess. It was perfect. (:

Anyway i couldn't find the USB cable to upload photos from my cam. Dammit!

Plethora of issues are haunting me. I am not even sure if i should worry.
I guess, a general sense of oblivion would do to calm.
But, how to??

That's it for now. Should stop to further bore you of my uninteresting post. Heh.
Good day.

make the most out of it, let's not worry

2009-03-04T22:45:00.002+08:00

Righhhtttt.
Ya, i'm really truly sorry for this ok?
I've forgotten my password! Like, it has been weeks.

Hah.
Ok.
No.
I lied. -.-

I still have my password right up. Just that, i'm really lazy to type.
No! WE are, considering Ari Hakikat's position as one of the blogger.

Well, what do we have?
Yeah, we have had beautiful weeks. We've went to several places of interest, which are very interesting. Wow.

Pictures! Yeah. I'll post it up. In time to come. Hee.
And Fana, i'll upload the birdpark's photos soon aite? :)

And and that is soo not important.
What's more important is this!
"I've received my advanced birthday presents! Really in advance. Haha. From loveeeeeee!" :))))

I am sooo..........
Happy! :))))))

Got theseeeeeeeee, bebeh!

Canon EOS 300D.

Feb29 bag.

I would kill to have those!
Not anymore, uh.
I love you lah sweets!!!!!! :)

Alright. I'll be having another great weekend!
Camping tmr! Till Saturday. Afterwhich, BBQ!
Am i excited or excited?!

I loveeee HOLIDAYS! =D
(even though love's attachment bores me, a lot)

Goodnight everybadeh.
Wonderful days ahead!

=)

i'll wait up, even if for a lifetime

2009-02-24T12:24:00.005+08:00

Finallyyyyyyy!

(Here's for you, DADP)
I love yesterday. No, not because it was ILP paper, but to witness and sense the joy of DADP.
I didn't want to leave early because i wanted to be there, with my classmates and share the smile.
Sorry Jannah, who had to cough for good times (because we made a deal; cough three times and we'll leave the place, together). Hehe. It didn't happen apparently.

Anywayyyy, i noticed this yesterday!
When we were about to end, suddenly there were a few of ADHD people in our class; they couldn't stop fidgeting and were staring at Ms Div.
Yes, everyone was waiting anxiously. So am i.
My heart was beating damn fast lah while waiting for her to say, "time's up".
I could only think of pure enjoyment ahead, even though the paper was still before my very eyes, and i knew i've lost like, 50 marks?
Who would have thought that MENOPAUSE would actually come out??? Dry vagina?? o.O

And thank you to everyone for your endless support. All the good-lucks and best wishes, thank you. (:
Especially my lovely Ari Hakikat, who have always been there for me. Helping me to memorize.
Love you lah. Plan something for me!!! ((:

Time teleports.
I am finally done with my 1st year of SP.
I woke up just now, thinking of what to study.
Still not over it eh. -.-!

Now, my friends who have been complaining about how busy i was, pls date me.
Better ask me out or i will kill chu!

Hellooooooooooooooooooo Goooooooood Daaaaaaaays!

=DD

//Forgot!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA!

She's 45 this year. Go wish her.
And HuuuumMyGod!
Later Mama menopause!
More nags.

:/

have been looking forward to everyday

2009-02-23T16:15:00.002+08:00

Ok. Still feeling tired from my cousin's wedding.
Though it was tiring, it was a lotta fun!
All the best to him. ((:

Dear Haziqah,

May I urge you to revise..? We can already smell the holidays. Hope you do your best. I know you miss (±[all {i mean ALL!}³]≈∞) of your friends, but, we'll make up for it, k? (: I'll be here till the very end. You know I will.
Good luck for your paper, love. (:

Love,
Ari Hakikat.
xoxoxoxoxo

P.S. Look forward to Wednesday ok? (((:

2009-02-21T01:02:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday, Zara Omar!

Lurbs euus.

That's all, for now.
I will be back soon. Very soon.

Omfg.
I very penat, terbang, happy.

:S

the pain we felt and the love we share, i know there's more to love

2009-02-18T18:25:00.002+08:00

School's a bummer. And I know it hasn't end for me, but, who the fuck cares. I just wanna get this done and over with. After that, I'll improve next year. Yeah right. That's what I tell myself the year before. And that is if I get promoted.

Hope you'd get through this period of stress fine, baby. (:

Through the winter spring summer fall, I was there for you
Through the thick and thin, I'm the one you can run to
Baby you know, I'll never stop loving you;

you are my heart.

2009-02-15T17:50:00.002+08:00

Now, this is a waste. I'm wasting my life away. My dad's birthday today. I rushed everything for him and now I'm waiting at my aunt's place. For what?! I've got a life! That's why I never stay home. Cos when I'm here, no one else is. If they can't appreciate my presence here, then, wth am I staying here for?

No one is here. No one that I care about.

I miss all the things you say

the way you do things your way

Every minute's like a day

When you're far away

The world's a roller coaster

And I am not strapped in

Maybe I should hold on with care

But my hands are busy in the air

Saying: I wish you were here.

2009-02-15T16:49:00.002+08:00

OMG.
I feel so bad for not wishing my lovelies here.
I know it's too late but,

HAPPY 18th, AZZA IZANA & NURRL IZZAH!

I'm really really sorry for not being able to meet you girls the other day.
I'll make it up ok?

Love you two a lot! Missing you both too.
You will always be in my heart. Muahs! <3

I hate exams. Wish me luck.
But like no hope already. I'll do whatever that i'm able then. :(

And Singapore is fucking hot lah!
I am sweating like a babi now.

And most importantly, i miss Ari.
Happy Birthday, Mr Subtu! :)

Gotta get back to work. My head is spinning! Cb.

=/

missing you badly like never been

2009-02-11T14:29:00.006+08:00

Something so tender. I can't explain. Well I maybe dreamin'. But 'till I awake. Can we make this dream last forever. And I'll cherish all the love we share

I wanna go. Just go. To that place. Where only we know. Since the first. It'll have wait. And I'll be looking forward to it.

Next time i start a paper, as long as it is headed "Section C", I'll do it first.

On a lighter note (well, maybe not so light, since it's gonna be the start of ITP), I'll be converted- from Microstation-ism to AutoCAD-ism. Either one, I'd still be stuck in front of the computer. Like all draftsman. When do I get a real architect's work? What? 60?!

Ok. Procrastinating all over again. Let's see if I can think of a movie to watch later. Library doesn't have Love Actually. Hahh!

This is what I live for: for moments like these.

2009-02-11T10:00:00.002+08:00

I can, at times, be amazed at how a CUNT forgets other CUNTS, who had always been there, for a DICK.
In a reputable way to convey, how a girl forgets her friends for a guy.

And sad to say, i've such a friend.

One of the prominent attitude that i closely observe.
Worse, head over heels for the guy, she went all out even before they officially called themselves "couple."
Like, you know, went on for a date and lied to us.
Oh, i so appreciate.

To make things a lot easier, let her be in her own own fairytale world. Since she is happier that way, it seems.

Don't fucking tell me i'm likewise because i was there at almost every meet-ups that we had.

What do you expect now?

It won't be the same after all.

It won't.

baby, i forever will

2009-02-10T14:50:00.002+08:00

What a week! But there's no stoppin. Another few weeks left before it all ends. And then, it'll be the start of something totally different.

Got my posting for my internship today. I'll be working for LTA for a month and a half. That means, I gotta wake up early, wrestle my way through in the train, dodge foul odours, walk to the building and finally report to the person-in-charge by 8.30am. My allowance? A minimum wage of $440/month. I just hope the people there aren't fucked up and I'll actually learn something.

Another session skipped. We're growing static. We've got to talk, guys. We gotta keep doing what we do, if not, better. For CC. We'll work things out. We'll find that passion back. Then we'll find our sound. We don't have to sound like anyone. We're CC. I don't see the fire in you guys anymore. Let's go!

I wanna run! Run! Work on my stamina. Cutting down on smoking too. >:]

♥Too much. I can't afford.
But I'm gonna give it all I've got.
It looms: the future.
Our mirth as we look through pictures.

That tenacity, it irritates.
Clenching my fists, it innervates:
These tired muscles.
They relax, waiting, waiting for that attack.

Then end of your struggle, the start of my trouble; but you'll be there.

2009-02-09T09:48:00.003+08:00

Sentosa, January 31st 2009.

I know Fana is faster than me. hehh.
We sure had lots of fun together.
And and and I'm meeting them soon! Again!
Yesssss!

Hope Babygegerl is doing fine for test. (:

=)

right here waiting for you

2009-02-08T14:48:00.002+08:00

Thank you, HTA journals. You've successfully shed ample light on me to understand the beauty of architecture and help me to gain my interest back. But, isn't it a little too late...? I really hope I can make it. I hope. I wish. I beg. But if I still don't then, I know I've given it my all, with someone constantly giving me the strength that I needed and always will need. :) Thank you PUUUU! :)) Hehe. See, Ubai. Now we're same. Pii and Puu. Hahha!

Ok. Congrats to PuuQo0 for completing the stuff she needed to. As for the upcoming exams, you know Gegerl will always be there la. :P Always... The song I'm listening to right now. Hahh.

"I'll be there forever and a day. Yeah..." -Jon Bon Jovi.

Hahha. Emosi-oh-null. Ok. Back to more archi stuff. Essays and tests coming up. :)) Who'd have guessed. School and Sunday do not go together. Hehhe.

j♥gging is fun! :))

2009-02-07T13:06:00.001+08:00

I like it. I like it. I LOVE IT!

Report done. ((:

3 more essays? Hah!

I am not going to give 2 shits about my grades anymore.
Really. I submitted, means i've put in effort and that matters.

I fainted yesterday, which till now i've no clue to what was the cause of it.
I don't bother much though, coz at least, i am still breathing and BabyGegirl will always be there to take good care of me. =D

Overnighted in sch for rehearsal.
Hey, we're so cool!
Our production theme was "paranormal" and everyone agreed to doing it till 2 am!
The music was da bomb. Imagine being in blackbox, (an all-black room basically, everything is in black), and the eerie eerie music was played at around 1am.
I love it!
Even though it scared the shit out of me.

Ok that's it.
Gotta get back to essay, which i have to submit later, and which deadline was yesterday!
I said i'll fuck that, so i fuck it.

=)

because i'm the happiest in yr arms

2009-02-04T19:53:00.003+08:00

Sometimes when I'm alone,
I wonder aloud.
If you're watching over me,
Someplace far about.

But, lately, I'm getting lesser and lesser of that feeling. ((: Looking forward to 7 feb.

It'll all be over soon... ((:

2009-02-03T16:24:00.005+08:00

I stayed up last night for nothing!
It got me feeling all fucked up for nothing!

Both presentations were postponed till God knows when.
I hate it! Now, i don't feel the sexcitement of having everything(if not, something) over and finally done with.
Cb lah.

Now i will just have to keep on worrying.

Some sents photos.

I think the dress that i wore was a bit "minah".
Spot the prettiest, if you get what i mean.
Hahahaha! *evil laugh*

not the one i can live with, the one whom i cant live without

2009-02-01T11:41:00.011+08:00

THANK YOU

SO MUCH

ARI HAKIKAT!

FOR THIS!

ENOUGH!

I'M SERIOUSLY TIRED OF THIS.

She's not even pretty!

Hahahahhh! Just for the fun of it. It was fun.
Don't worry. I am still living happily ever forever with Mr Hakikat.
Hakikat nye ini hakikat. (:

Anywhore, i'm very patiently waiting for sents photos by Azri Bahajjajj (correct spelling i hope).
And i need to change my hotmail password after what Syafiq told me.
Syafiq! Same building! *Eye-eye motion*
See you at fc6! And better don't upskirt girls like how i always do. No good!
Tell you this first.

And i changed my font size because according to Fana, mine was too tiny.
She has eyesight problem so i hope this will help you ah sister!

That's all for now.
Waiting for that tranny to arrive! xoXOXoxO! ((:

a great day just like any other day, with you

2009-01-29T19:04:00.004+08:00

Good luck Ari Hakikat for yr submission.

May you prove Uncle Tetek wrong.

I'm so proud of you. (:

Good luck Nur Haziqah.

May you not have anymore sleepless nights.

I very excitedtedted.

Looking forward to all the free time we'll have. ((:

Good luck DADP for week 17.

Good luck DARCH for crit week.

Please... We don't want anymore D's.

Through thick and thin *insert keywords*

2009-01-28T13:16:00.002+08:00

Everyone is missing everyone. I know.
The fact that i'm stuck here, is hindering me.

Sorry my lovely girls. I very saddd.. :(

I wish i'm in RP, at times like this.
They are having their fucking holidays already lahhhh.
I haven't even started on revision yet.

Ah never mind revision.
Assignments are not done yet. Heck ah.

My fingers are tired of typing already. :/

Baby, i know you can do it. I believe in you.
Never let anyone bring you down.
I'll be by your side, always.
Whether or not i can do any difference, i will stay.

Much love, Haziqah.

=)

because you told me not to give up, i'm holding on

2009-01-25T11:27:00.003+08:00

I feel very bad for not been spending time with my friends.
I'm really sorry, esp Farhanah who has been texting me every other day.
When was the time i last met them? Last Sunday? Eh?
O God. ONE WEEEEK!

Sorry.
But i promise this, when March finally arrive, i'd gladly spend everyday with everyone! (:

(Think through)
I still have a lot to do. Well, i am still a schoolgirl.
And i prioritise my work. (DADP, don't assume. Haha!)
I'm not a girl, who lives with no future.
Spending everyday lepak-ing at void decks, or any malls. Meeting friends.
Or aimlessly be on the screen, facebook, youtube, blogs, online gamming or what shit.
What life has to offer for you?

I am not looking down on these people.
If you are one, then, i am leaving you to ponder and seriously dwell on this.
Unless you insist on working on an hourly rate basis.
If so, i rest my case. (:

Anyway, i really wanted to do the "16 random things about me" tagged by Ezzat/Vivian etc.
But i think it's too much of a disclosure. Haha. And it'll take too much of my time thinking.
I'm still considering though.

Ok, for now, next.......
Nexttttt Essayyyyyyyy

=)

Happy Chinese New Year!
DADP, i feel the tragic in you.

your heart is beating for two now

2009-01-23T01:01:00.003+08:00

Yes, I have had the power to conjure 2(!!!) one-thousand-plus-words essay in a matter of hours.
No apparent reason for not being able to complete my 3000 words report which i have been working on since last week.

I can do it!
Yes, it is possible. It is plausible. (:

And don't just "3000 words only.......... I can do it in one day!"
Fuck you don't have a single clue.

Weird it may sound but i think i'm somewhat enjoying these works.

And Haziqah posted this.

=)

with you

2009-01-21T17:56:00.004+08:00

Life each day is like a little war for me, personally.

Everyone has different aims, goals and struggles, and mine is to live life to the fullest. With my beloved. Carpe diem. Sieze the day. Live every day as if there'll be no other. That's what has made my life more meaningful. If tomorrow never comes, what'll I be? I wanna mark my stay here on this Earth and if I were to go, I wanna leave something behind. Nothing much- just my name; a legacy.

I wanna make the world more aware. Aware that there are still people killing people, and nothing is being done to stop this inhumanity. That, and also greed- to attain something so small, almost redundant, millions of innocent people are killed. Those people who died didn't even have the chance to defend themselves, didn't have a chance to fight for their country. They died in vain. With no honour; just bodies lying around.

I'm so glad I've lived my life to the fullest. To know that I'll be on her mind, and hers on mine when I die is so fulfiling. No matter how I die, I'll die with something no one has.

Lived my life to the fullest *instert keyword*

2009-01-19T13:45:00.004+08:00

"This next song I'mma send out to everybody out there that was born for a reason. Not just a regular son of a fuck that's gonna live, go to work 9-5 and die when he's supposed to at 75. I want the person who will trip other people out. I want the person who will change people's lives."

-Phil Anselmo

I'm leaving more eyes open

I close up both of mine

For the ones that chase my life

They're looking over shoulders

Let paranoia in

Spontaneously rule them

When I die, I cast a shadow

And I'll rise, I cast a shadow.

We'll leave a legacy.

2009-01-18T02:09:00.004+08:00

Sometimes, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. And occasionally, the tough doesn't. So, the tough then has a special someone who can help. The tough has to know that. The tough can go to that person for a listening ear, comforting arms, a shoulder (both, even) to cry on, ever ready hands for help, and everything else that's good.

This post not only goes out to Haziqah, but to all who thinks they are alone.

You're not.

I believe no one likes to be alone. You're not in a right state of mind, then talk. Let your emotions flow free. That's where you'll achieve a zen in yourself. Let your happy thoughts balance out the undesired ones. That's where people come into play. With them, you can have a conversation or do fun stuff which might make you not think about the problem you might face now or you could both derive to a resolution. Both being good outcomes. Know the right time to talk. Don't talk all the time about trivial matters. This, however, is important.

All I'm saying is, I know that you know I'll always be there for u. I want you to want me, and need me.

The thing is, I'm not used to not being with you. We do everything together. Well, not everything, but everything that matters. Cos you matter to me. I know you wanna think things through, but how do you think it makes me feel? It makes me feel so helpless. Knowing I couldn't do a thing.

I took the liberty to reflect during the period of your time-out. But I can find no answer. Everytime I try to probe deeper, I'll just ask what did I do wrong.

Am I smothering you?

If it really matters to you, well, have that time alone.

It's all gonna be ok.

2009-01-17T23:00:00.004+08:00

I so need this.
I so deserve this.

Everything hurts really really bad.
I feel all torn up. :(

From sch, outside, home.

I don't think i'm in the right state of mind.
No, i am not.

I really want to be alone.
No, i need.

What do i do best in this kinda situation?
Curl up at that corner.

Thank you everything, for the pain.
It is inevitably painful.

So again, why am i living this absurd life?

=(

sorry

2009-01-15T22:01:00.003+08:00

Presentation is over, and it feels really good. (:
Yeah so much for that, I've a lot to be done still still still.
Par for the course? Oh no no no!

I think it is all because of DADP that I've been eating so much lately.
Yeah, you know, some people do eat a lot when they're under a lot of pressure and stress.
Well.. Yelahhhhhhh....... -.-

Fuck fuck fuck! How the fuck am I going to finish my literature review by Wed??
3,000 words chicken feet ah?
Chongchichi!
All CA2s are violently attacking too. Like the war at Israel/Palestin.
Ninabei! _|_

Omg! I totally forgot!
I must must must not make DADP sound so bad, according to our mummy Mok.
I should be promoting.
Ok, let's do some course advertising here.

DADP = Gerekkkk
The people = Baikkkk
The lectures = Baguuuuuus

Aku?

Aku = TIPU!

Muahahahahahaha! 8)

Okok. Serious serious.
Whichever school/course you would wanna go, assignments/projects/stress come as a package.
But but but, rmbr to look at the brighter side too. (:
Make the right choice! That is more important.

I love DADP still even though it can be the only thing that is capable of bringing me to my death bed. :/

I've linked some new people.
Go and check check check them out.

Nites!

And I hope my lovelybaby gets well tomorrow.

=)

love was, and is, and continues on

2009-01-13T23:13:00.003+08:00

I am on an eating spree!

No, I don't post this because I want people to "oh no, don't worry. I'm fat too." or "I am gaining kilos too." or anything of sort.
I am telling you because you are reading MY blog.
Ok, with Ari's.

The next sec, you will hear, "I am damn hungrayyy!"
The next min, you will hear, "I want something to munch on!"
The next hour, you will hear, "I am craving for this and that!"

Love has been hearing this for soooooo long already and I bet he's bottling up.

So pls, if you were to see me anywhere, whining about food, pls be my altruist.
Remind me, straight into my face that I've gained so much.
Now, there's no way I can wear bikinis. Definitely not with this damn ugly bulging tummy. :(

I am seriously serious.

Damn damn damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!
I need motivation.

=/

there is no need for jealousy if there is trust

2009-01-11T23:42:00.005+08:00

Nur Farhanah.

fana - says:
but kau mesti be positive uh
fana - says:
ari is alrdy w you now and he's really sungguh sungguh
fana - says:
kau tgk ah tadi time kau open up. aku rase kalau lelaki lain da mengamok seh, tak nak bobal dengan kau lagi
fana - says:
but ari tak, he listened to you and tried to understand yr situation

When a friend understands you, and knows best.
Thank you, babe. (:

Here's a thing to our friendship.

Friendship bandsssssss!!!!!

Yeah, call us kental or whatever you may.
I'm loving it still.

(Chey aku sweet or sweet?!)

=)

leave everything behind, go after the future

2009-01-11T11:13:00.003+08:00

Hello.

Yes and obviously, this has become ourrrrrrrrr site.
I will still dominate though, posting wise.
He wouldn't bother much to post anyway.
So expect most of the upcoming entries to be posted by me. (:

If you don't wish to link, then nehmind.
Just don't be deprived of our posts.

Anyway, some really wanted to know what happened on my submission date.
Did I manage to complete?
Yes, I completed both my essays. Thank God.
But, I was rushing my essays like mad. I didn't have a wink of sleep.

At times, when I got very very pissed with my assignments, the temptation to quit and change course may become overwhelming.
I made my choice to be here, no one said anything.
The least I'm able now is to work hard.
That is all.

Yesterday we went Jayyyybeeeee!
We ate, watched movie, did some shopping and dadadada.
And and and oh oh ohhhhhh!
There was a strike going on just outside City Sq(!!!)
Yes, yes! I got all excited when I saw them yelling while holding those big big banners.
I pulled him so I could watch them more clearly. But he insisted not to. :(

Oh, I forgot to mention that he was really very VERYYYYYY scared to enter Johor.
He told me, constantly, to dress more minah Msia so I would blend in and he did wear sloppily himself. -.-"!!!
And whenever any mats tried to come closer, for the very first time, he just kept quiet and did nothing!

"Cannot act brave with them lah. I scared they rogol you, or kill me. Then we cannot kahwin already." (insert the cute, pathetic face here.)

Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!

We did have a great time there, even though we didn't get to satisfy my craving for Pizza Hut's lasagne, or any western food.
Next time!

I'm done for now.
I'm missing my girls.
I always have.

=)

-Qoo

a dream we'll work hard for

2009-01-06T10:57:00.001+08:00

On hiatus.

At least till this Saturday.

2009-01-05T00:43:00.002+08:00

Done.

Really, thank you. (:

Next up, essayyyyyy! Oh, stilllllll!
What's new, anyway?

DEADlines.
Ok mati lah ok.

And I need esteem-booster.
And I wanna go for lipo-transfer. (If there's nothing as such, pls do something)
So I won't have to run those tracks.
And they won't call me hippo.
Bleargh!

=/

the love that is shining so bright

2009-01-03T22:32:00.002+08:00

I seriously think this is blah.

Whatever happens between you and your secondary school friends, why am I in it?
I don't even know them.

What is wrong with Abby and Idah?
Yes, pls. I am really asking the two of you.

If there's a need for me to say sorry, then I would. Even though it is clear I've done nothing wrong that is.
Just tell me what is wrong with me, or of me that seems to be bugging you so much?

Me being fat, bothers you?
These ongoing labels:Hippo, Choco Hippo and whatnots are really driving me up the wall.

I really didn't mean to aggravate this already ugly situation.
But pls, again, I really need to know what the issue here is. Till I was criticised.

Fair for my side?

Tell me I've done something wrong.

i really dont deserve this

2009-01-02T02:58:00.001+08:00

You, my history.

You left me when I needed you.
Everything was left hanging without you noticing.
Did you even care?

I couldn't wait.
Yes, for that, I was wrong.
But at least not for now.
I know I was right all along.

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
Me?
I make the most of what comes and the least of what goes.

And for everything else, I thank you.
Agreed, we're friends now.
No one is at fault.
I need no sorrys.
Because shits happen.
Just don't let it hit the fan.

really didn't mean to hurt you, my love.

2009-01-01T12:59:00.006+08:00

Goodbye 2008.

I can't possibly let go 2008 as easily.
2008 has been a year, full of happiness, joy, anguish and everything else.

Release of O levels' results, an extreme change.
Everyone went to different schools, a mixture of thoughts.

I met lots and lots of new people!

As for me, Singapore Polytechnic was the choice.
Applied Drama and Psychology(DADP) will be responsible for all my joy and sorrows for the next 2 and a half years of poly academic.

The people? I swear we came into SP with a bang!
Simply because we're DADP students.
And I guess the course name can best explain.

From the same class to still in the same class, Jannah and I got very close.
With her around, I wouldn't find myself alone after school. (:

One of the best moments I can still remember vividly.

Ari Hakikat.

FO Party. Met someONE.

How disappointed I was knowing he was attached then.
How sweet he was trying to "get" me.
How lovely we are now, together in this love. (:

BE clubbers, not forgotten.

You people continue rocking the club okayssss. (:

Izzah, Sharizan, Afnidah, Nadzirah and Azza.

The darlings.
No longer spending every day with them, during and after school.
No more paddle pop on a hot sunny day.
Needless to say, the bond created since 2004 will remain as strong. (:

Farhanah, Zahirah, Maisarah and Nabilah.

The ever noisemaker.

The ones I got closer with only after secondary school days.
Funny it seems but they are a few of those I'm most comfortable with. (:

Yes, I miss them much but knowing they're doing fine with everything is good enough. (:

Spending the very last sec of 2008 with Love triggered me with a strong desire.
A hope to spend wondrous years ahead with him. (:

Hello 2009!

=)

we'll make wonders

2008-12-31T00:50:00.002+08:00

I try.
The shadow I cast.
Feelings awry.
Your trust.

I don't lie.

2008-12-29T04:28:00.002+08:00

This is the dawn.
I'm waiting for the light.
So I'll be with you, once again.
"Tremble to love's might!"

thinking of you, all through the night.

2008-12-28T16:42:00.002+08:00

I am currently searching for a heartless cannibal who intends to kill a cute, innocent psychology student.
Pls suck her blood dry and gobble her flesh up hastily.
Leave no trace.
Do not question the tasteless brain cells.
Then tell everyone you are sorry but do not regret.
For all you have done was merely helping.
Thank you.

If I am still considered a child, pedophiles could be another alternative.
Traumatised, I might be too weak to study.
No more of those I am having now.
Enough.

Ok, I lied.
I don't want anything like that to happen.
I only want education to cease.

Can?

I broke a promise made.
I promised not to blog till the 1st, but I couldn't take it any longer.
I need stress-killer.

Now, everything pains me.

=(

missing you like this feels like you have been away since forever

2008-12-24T10:24:00.006+08:00

When your all-time beloved boy told you he has found a new beau,

who is much hotter than you.

You won't care, will you?

Coz I know my pout is waayyyyy alluring than that.

Agree?!?!

It's priceless baybeh!

This Fridaayyy!

The Laaaaaaaaalings!

The Sayangs Sayangs!

The Xcitemeennnnntttt!

I've nothing else to say.

I just want things to be my way.

Can?

you will remain my ever lovely beau, always

2008-12-19T10:05:00.008+08:00

Kampong.

Lobang hidungnya tak perlu begitu yer.

The old papa who loves ME the most. (:

No matter how many more naughtygrandchildren he's gonna have,

I know I am still his favourite. ((:

NUR FARHANAH JUMAAT and ZAHIRAH OMAR!

Both of you! Yes, the both of you!

Are responsible of me, getting addicted to yr blogs' songs!

I can't say go & t-shirt.

Wahaha! Takut tak? Takut tak? -.-

Anyways, the-underlying-smile.blogspot.com will not be staying for long.
Let's bid farewell everybadeh!

It'll soon be a joint blog, of mine and Kikat's.

Well, he strongly insisted on it.

I'm the whatever kind. So yeah, whatever.

Good morning!

to see through the night, you are my light

2008-12-17T22:59:00.002+08:00

I want my old hair.
I need to start working.

I love you.
I loathe them.

Bubye Friendster.
Hello Facebook.

I wish I am a 6-year-old.

=)

nothing feels right when i'm not with you

2008-12-16T00:30:00.002+08:00

Lovely time I had.
How much I wished it could stay.
We took an oath.
How beautiful it was as we lay.

(I, therefore declare, I failed!)

Yayyy(!!!!) Tmr 1030 at Ezzat's place. Kembangan!
Suppose Ezzat is feeling better now.
I hope we would not end up taking a nap like the other day.

I damn lazy lah pls.
To be a female dog. A bitch?!?!
Now official, doggie partners? If not, I've taken over Love. Woooooof!
So long baby! HAha!

Yeah, I always get the somewhat funny characters.
Like the old, boobs-sagging nannny and now, the abondoned doggie.
In drama, we have learned, to appreciate and accept.
I accepted it. Appreciate, yes.
Wo ai ni, drama!

Dahhh I wanna get some sleep now!
Ii lurbb euus sho muchx!
Du euus lurbb meh tooxz?

=)

dedication of life for a life; with you

2008-12-14T20:25:00.004+08:00

I feel so feeling feeling now, and it's very melayu feeling.

Fuck you if you think this is corny.
Because this is NOT for you.
It's for my lovely You. (:

Aku ingin menjadi mimpi indah,
dalam tidurmu
Aku ingin menjadi sesuatu,
yang mungkin bisa kau rindu
Karena, langkah merapuh, tanpa dirimu
Oh karena, hati telah letih

Hanya dirimu yang bisa, membuatku tenang
Tanpa dirimu aku merasa,
hilang,
dan sepi

♥♥♥

8 hari seminggu.
25 jam sehari.
32 hari sebulan.
13 bulan setahun.

kerana bagiku hanyalah dirimu